brooklyn brooklyn take me in

i've been asking myself a lot of questions lately. it started small, just little simple questions like when am i going to get this paper done. lately though, it's moved onto to much larger things. where do i want to live when i finish school? do i want to stay in wisconsin? can i really deal with starting over? those among many other questions, that for now, i'm going to keep to myself. it's scary to really think about all of this. hands down, without a doubt, i love this state. i say it so many times, and it never gets less true. wisconsin is my home, and be that as it may, i'm not sure if this is where i want to spend the rest of my life. i know so many people that have spent their entire life in the same place, and i don't want to be that person. there are so many places i would love to live and work, not only that, i just want to see so many places. life is scary, you just don't realize it until it's knocking down your door demanding answers to questions you haven't even thought about yet. here i am, almost 23, and scared of thinking about my future. i find myself able to help everyone else answer their questions, calm them down, and just make them feel like everything is okay. the only person i have issues with that is myself. i never think things are going to be okay. i never know how to calm myself down. and i'll be damned if i can answer a single question that i pose to myself. i want to know what the future holds. i want to know that everything is going to be alright. really, i just want the assurance that i'm not a complete fuck up.

is that really to much to ask?

it's hard to support your friends when they do things you really don't believe in. but being a true friend means supporting them through everything. no exceptions. right?

you are my song, and you are where i want to be

i wish i was a mind reader. that would be nice. really nice.

what you always wanted

my life is becoming a tornado of school and work. i cannot wait for summer to get here. i need a break.

enjoying school doesn't change the fact that after a while you need a break. spring break was nice, but i could really use a real vacation. hopefully this summer i'll get to take a trip to new york and at least pretend that i live there. i guess all i can do now is keep telling myself that i'll get there one day.

i'd rather get burned than never have tried.

last laugh lands on the man with the plan to do all that he came to do

the past is the past.

i enjoyed my spring break far beyond the fullest extent. seeing everyone in green bay always makes me happy. this time was different though. for the first time, i explained to one of my friends why i can't live in green bay. being here in wausau gives me the opportunity to focus on school, and not have to worry as much about all the distractions that green bay places before me. yes, in the end it should come down to self control, but self control has always been one of my major problems. i have trouble telling myself no, and being in wausau is helping me very much in that area. i'm finally happy where i am, i'm far enough away from the distractions that they won't hinder me, but i'm close enough that i can go and visit on the weekends. my friends are my life, and without them, i don't know what i would do.

i do enjoy school, but i am very much looking forward to the summer. there are a whole bunch of awesome things that i'm looking forward to. warped tour, lollapalooza, and tons of other concerts. not only that, i'm going to go to new york at some point this summer which is oh so very exciting. i miss the city so much it's not even funny.

baseball season started today.